Depressed? Well Here Is Some Motivation.

For those who need a heavy dose of motivation, are under the influence of a void or a ‘life trough’ and need some persuasion to get up and fight!

That’s the thing about depression: A human being can survive almost anything, as long as she sees the end in sight. But depression is so insidious, and it compounds daily, that it’s impossible to ever see the end.
That why we must fight….. 

If you know someone who’s depressed, please resolve never to ask them why. Depression isn’t a straightforward response to a bad situation; depression just is, like the weather.
Try to understand the blackness, lethargy, hopelessness, and loneliness they’re going through. Be there for them when they come through the other side. It’s hard to be a friend to someone who’s depressed, but it is one of the kindest, noblest, and best things you will ever do.
Be there for them show them you love them.

Listen to other people’s stories on how to cope with depression……. An take it one day at a time. 

Remember 

If You Know Someone in Crisis

Call the toll-free National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (NSPL) at 1-800-273-TALK (8255), 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. The service is available to everyone. The deaf and hard of hearing can contact the Lifeline via TTY at 1-800-799-4889. All calls are confidential. Contact social media outlets directly if you are concerned about a friend’s social media updates or dial 911 in an emergency.

In Response to 13 Reasons Why

By Jamie Tworkowski

This blog is Original from TWLOHA.com

Right now, thousands of people are talking about the show 13 Reasons Why. We’ve heard stories of people asking for help for the first time, and stories of people who had to stop watching because the show was too triggering for them. We’ve heard from parents asking if we think the show is appropriate for their son or daughter. We’ve heard from people who loved the show, and we’ve heard from people who hated it.

13 Reasons Why is causing a significant number of individuals to think and talk about mental health, and many of them are thinking and talking about it for the first time. That’s a good thing. The show is also being met with criticism because of the way it portrays sexual assault and suicide. The show is triggering and painful for a lot of people. That’s a bad thing.

If you struggle or have struggled with self-injury or thoughts of suicide, we would encourage you NOT to watch 13 Reasons Why. We’ve heard from many people who have chosen to avoid the show, and we applaud these folks who are choosing to prioritize their own recovery. We know this is a unique moment in pop culture, with so many people talking about 13 Reasons Why. You are certainly more important than pop culture, and we will always encourage you to put your recovery first.

We’ve heard from people who started watching but then at some point they had to stop because it was too painful. Others watched every episode but it left them with mixed feelings. If your heart is heavy after watching 13 Reasons Why, we’re sorry for the pain you experienced. Our hope would be that you have safe people who you can process your feelings with. Maybe that means friends as a place to start. Maybe it means a parent or another adult you can be open and honest with. If you’re struggling to the point that you need more support than what a friend or family member can provide, please know that it’s okay to reach out to a mental health professional.

Speaking of mental health professionals, we know that the show doesn’t paint the best picture of counseling. The school counselor, who is not a licensed mental health counselor, certainly fumbles his meeting with Hannah in the final episode. Well, at TWLOHA, we are huge fans of counseling. Most of our team, we’ve either been to counseling or we continue to go to counseling. We know some great ones, men and women who have devoted a big part of their lives to helping people navigate the hardest parts of their stories. We believe that for folks who are struggling, connecting with a licensed mental health counselor can be the decision that changes their life. We meet people who say they’re still alive because they decided to start seeing a counselor.

If you’re a parent who is concerned about how to talk to your son or daughter, our advice would be to talk to them. If you don’t know what to say, maybe you start there. It’s important that your child knows you love them, that they know they’re not alone, and that they feel invited to speak openly and honestly about their feelings and their pain. As for you, the parent, it’s okay for you to ask questions. It’s okay to admit what you don’t know. It’s also important to create an environment where family members feel safe, and where asking for help is something that is encouraged at any age.

While we wish that the creators of 13 Reasons Why would have been more careful in how they chose to tell the story, we are thankful for the good that is coming as a result of this story being told. We’re glad people are talking about mental health and suicide. If you’ve decided the show is not for you because you don’t want to risk being triggered, we support you as you pursue your recovery. If you watched and you felt triggered, we support you as you process those feelings. If you watched it and you feel the show helped you in some way, we support you. If you’re a parent and you’re doing your best to love your son or daughter, we support you. We’re all in this together.

As i watched the final episode, in which Hannah makes the heartbreaking decision to end her life, i wished she could have known how special she was. Known that she was brilliant and beautiful and loved and deserving of love — that her whole life was ahead of her, a life very much worth living. i wished Hannah had a support system, friends she could lean on and cry with, and professional help to guide her to healing.

As folks around the world continue to debate and discuss this fictional story, we hope you will remember that your true story is truly important. The things we hoped for Hannah, we hope them now for you — that your story would be rich with characters who know and love you, who fight for you instead of fighting you, people who remind you that you’re priceless.

Life is worth living. The best is yet to come. Let’s keep going. 

Phone numbers for National Crisis lines open 24/7:

Anxiety, Depression, Suicidal Hotline: 1-877-925-5482

National Suicide Hotline: 

(800) 273-8255

Alcohol and Drug Abuse Hotline:

(800) 729-6686

National Council on Alcoholism and Drug Dependence Hopeline:

(800) 622-2255

Eating Disorders Awareness and Prevention:

(800) 931-2237

Missouri (Jackson, Johnson, Cass, Lafayette, Platte, Ray counties) Mental Health Crisis Line:

(888) 279-8188
HELP LINE:

211

My Husband Died by Suicide, but Died From Depression

By Marlin CollingwoodMay 25, 2016

Two years ago — May 5, 2014 — started as any Monday would start at our home in the suburbs of Boston. It was a beautiful, sunny New England spring morning.  
My husband Gary decided to sleep in a little later than usual and would come into the office before noon. This wasn’t unusual at all. Since he’d been struggling with depression, mornings were always hard and often he’d wake up with me, let our dogs out and go back to bed for an hour or two.  

I showered, got dressed for the office then lay on the bed with him for a few minutes and we talked about the week ahead and a trip I was making to New Hampshire the next day. 
I gave him a kiss and a hug, we both said “I love you” and I left for the office.
While I remember some of the details of my morning, I can only guess what the next couple of hours were like for Gary.
I didn’t know it at the time, but he had a plan in place and this was the morning he was finally going to put the plan into action.
Did he write the note after I left or did he write it weeks or months earlier and save it on his desktop?  
Did he take Harry and Torre (our beloved Welsh Corgis) to the park for a walk?   
Was he anxious? Frightened? Sad? Relieved?   
I will never know the details of those hours. All I know is the outcome.
When I couldn’t reach him on his cell phone later that morning, I decided to drive home, wake him up and bring him into the office with me. Again, this wasn’t that unusual and it had happened before. Sometimes the depression was best faced in bed. I knew that and respected that reality.

When you love someone living with depression you expect bad days, hard days, really bad days and OK days. I assumed this was just another bad day.
But this day would be a really, really bad day.
As I drove up our street I could see there was a note taped to our screen door and at that moment I knew my life would never be the same.
Marlin, I’ve taken my own life.

I don’t want you to find me.

I love you.

Gary

And with that the world turned upside down.

Molly was our pastor and Gary knew I would need her by my side to face what had happened.

I called 9-1-1 as he’d instructed me and the police came to the house, they went upstairs to our bedroom and confirmed Gary was dead.

At that moment I made the decision I was not going to hide how my beloved had died. While he died by suicide he also died from depression.
You see Gary was vocal about his disease and would tell anyone who asked how he’d been fighting depression for years. He made sure they understood it was an illness just as serious, real and unwanted as cancer, a heart attack or diabetes. It was not his fault and he did everything he was told to do to fight the disease. Anyone living with depression or loving someone living with depression recognizes this list: Medications, therapy, ECT, vitamins, yoga, exercise, DBT, meditation, good sleep hygiene — the list goes on and on.
Sometimes after trying a new medication or therapy there would be a day or two of a change in his mood or outlook, but eventually he’d quietly break the news to me it wasn’t working.

Often with tears in his eyes he’d say, “Honey the blackness is back… I’m so sorry” like it was his fault the depression wasn’t lifting.   
That’s part of the problem with the disease of depression.  
For those who are suffering from it, there is always a tinge of self-blame.   
That self-blame is kind of built in to our societal views of mental illness — in the back of most of our minds there is a belief the patient suffering must somehow be responsible for their own depression.
But as someone who cared for, lived with and eventually lost someone I love to this disease, I can say without any doubt that if Gary could have simply changed his outlook, pulled himself up by his bootstraps, counted his blessings or any of the other platitudes often thrown at those suffering from depression he would have done it.
In fact he did do all of those things and more.   
But the disease, just like the worst cancer, was stronger than any medicine, any therapy or any walk in the sunshine.   
His doctor came to the funeral where he hugged me and with his voice breaking said, “I’ve never had a patient that wanted to get better more than Gary did, I’m so sorry I wasn’t able to help him get over this disease.”
We need more research money, we need much more knowledge of the brain, mental illness and how best to treat it.  
We have to start treating mental illness as the public health crisis that it is; a disease just as lethal as heart failure, cancer, opioid addiction and obesity. We need to make changes in insurance reimbursement policies for mental illness.
We have to smash the stigma of depression and place the disease exactly where it belongs; one of the most debilitating and deadly that any of us could face at any time.
Gary wasn’t able to stick around one more day to see if it might be different. But today my message to anyone living with depression is just that: “Stick around one more day. This disease tends not to be permanent, there are solutions that can work, you are not a burden to anyone and no one will be better off if you’re dead. Stick around. One more day. Then one more, and keep going. You are loved.”
If you or someone you love is struggling with depression this message is for you – from me and from my sweet husband. 
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

1-800-273-8255

They can help prevent suicide. The Lifeline provides 24/7, free and confidential support for people in distress, prevention and crisis resources for you or your loved ones, and best practices for professionals.